just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
