Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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