so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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