Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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