Only a mothe r could love this liver
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
