What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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