Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Can I color on your dick again?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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