No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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