my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
