why didn't you poke me back
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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