Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
