A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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