I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
