2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
