dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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