If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
