Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
