dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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