that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
