i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
