How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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