dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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