Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
