You really coming over, don't trick.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
