That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
