Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
