just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize