you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
