Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
