Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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