i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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