sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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