based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
