I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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