Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Panties = found
Randomize
