once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
