She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's blow job season.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
