Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
