wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
