im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
