chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize