Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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