dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
