I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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