Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
