I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
