I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
