i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize