This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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