Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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