Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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