He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
