i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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