What did we do last night that was yellow?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
