i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
