My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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