theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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