Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
