i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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