There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize