Farmville is her only friend.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize