So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Randomize
