So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
