not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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