I have demons in me.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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